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- The idea that we MUST be loved by significant others for almost everything they do–
Instead of their concentrating on their own self-respect, on and on getting approval for practical purposes, and on being loved instead of loving.
- The notion that certain acts are awful or evil, and that the people who perform those acts should be severely damned —
- The idea that it is horrible when things don’t go the way we long for them to–
Instead of the idea that it’s too bad, that we’d be better to try to change or control bad conditions so that they become more satisfactory, and, if that isn’t possible, we had better temporarily accept and gracefully lump their existence.
What are the Rational Beliefs of REBT?
4. The idea that human misery is invariably externally caused and is forced on us by outside people and events
Instead of the idea that neurosis is largely caused by the view that we take of unfortunate conditions.
5. The idea that if something is or may be dangerous or fearsome we should be terribly upset and endlessly obsess about it–
Instead of the idea that one would better frankly face it and render it non-dangerous and, when that is not possible, accept the inevitable.
6. The idea that it is easier to avoid than to face life difficulties and self-responsibilities
Instead of the idea that the so-called easy way is usually much harder in the long run.
7. The idea that we absolutely need something other or stronger or greater than ourself on which to rely —
Instead of the idea that it is better to take the risks of thinking and acting less dependently.
8. The idea that we should be thoroughly competent, intelligent, and achieving in all possible respects —
Instead of the idea that we would better do rather than always need to do well, and accept ourself as a quite imperfect creature, who has general human limitations and specific fallibilities.
9. The idea that because something once strongly affected our life, it should indefinitely affect it —
10. The idea that we must have certain and perfect control over things —
Instead of the idea that the world is full of improbability and chance and that we can still enjoy life despite this.
11. The idea that human happiness can be achieved by inertia and inaction —
Instead of the idea that we tend to be happiest when we are vitally absorbed in creative pursuits, or when we are devoting ourselves to people or projects outside ourselves.
12. The idea that we have virtually no control over our emotions and that we cannot help feeling disturbed about things —
Instead of the idea that we have real control over our destructive emotions if we choose to work at changing the “musturbatory” hypotheses which we often employ to create them.